Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
we should paint friendship bongs
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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