He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Randomize