Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i've created a new STD.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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