thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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