Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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