I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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