just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Randomize