Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Randomize