She told me I should be a condom model.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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