That's intense
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize