but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
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Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
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Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
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