Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Are my feet made of real feet?
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Randomize