I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
You can't special order awesome
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
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