that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
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we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
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Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
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