Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Randomize