I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
That's when you crack a 10am beer
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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