if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize