so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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