I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
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