Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
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