I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Randomize