she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
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Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
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Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
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