I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
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It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
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We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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