She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
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