Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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