I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Who died my cat blue again?
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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