I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Randomize