9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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