she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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