i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
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just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
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I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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