i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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