I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize