Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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