theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
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