i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
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He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
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Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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