last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize