Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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