why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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