his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize