i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
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