Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize