I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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