somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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