matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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