Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
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