I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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