No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bring money and cleavage
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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