we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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