He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
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I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
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