I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
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